How to Show Up for Yourself
Learning to show up for yourself is one way to build internal resources and the ability to care for yourself. It looks different for different individuals, and may even change depending on where you are in your life. Before getting into the different ways we can do this, let’s talk about what exactly it means to show up for yourself in your life.
What Does it Mean to Show Up For Yourself?
We can think of showing up for ourselves as any act of honoring where you are, caring for yourself, and supporting your own well-being. It is natural that we all get sucked into the whirlwind of life. We forget, or perhaps don’t believe we have time or space, to pause and be there for ourselves. Depending on the moment and your experience, this can look any number of ways.
The one thing that remains true is that showing up for yourself means making space to prioritize yourself. It requires some pausing, some mindfulness and presence, and some tenderness. We recognize what is true for us… Our goals, pains, joys, needs, hopes, and fears. I find that it is helpful to look at it with three steps:
Making Space to Explore - In order to show up for ourselves we have to find some way to set aside time or space to explore what is going on. I will cover a few ways to do this in a bit, but the intention is to investigate what it is that we’re experiencing. In this step, I find it helpful to really set aside time and space. Dedicate even five minutes just to investigating what is present!
Recognition of What is Present - As we beging to investigate, we set out to wholeheartedly recognize what is present for us. This requires honesty and vulnerability. We don’t have to necessarily admit it to someone else, but admitting it to ourselves is important. In order to address an issue, we first need to identify it.
Acting with Self-Care - As you recognize what you are experiencing, you then can move into some act of honoring and self-care. Depending on your experience, this may differ. If you’re feeling overworked or overwhelmed, some down time and relaxation may be called for. If you’re feeling a lack of energy or motivation, some goal setting or activity may be called for. It all depends on what you’re going through.
Ways to Show Up For Yourself
Understanding a bit about what it means to show up for yourself, we can get into some practical ideas. These suggestions may not be applicable to every person or every situation, so take them as you wish. Remember that this is a deeply personal practice, and I encourage you to investigate for yourself what feels right and useful.
Clarify Your Goals
During your period of investigation and self-reflection, you might consider what it is you’re working toward. Do you have any goals in life? These may be big picture things, or “smaller” more immediate things. What makes you happy? What do you want more of in your life? These questions may uncover some tough truths at times, but it is a powerful way to really honor our own personal truths.
As you get clear with the goals you have for yourself, you might consider taking some action. Even if it is a big picture goal, showing up for yourself doesn’t mean overwhelming yourself with tasks or things to do. What can you do today? How can you actually live in a way that honors this? There’s probably some practical way you can orient yourself toward this goal starting today.
Practice Self-Compassion
In moments of suffering or difficulty, self-compassion is often the way to go. Depending on the experience, this may call for a period of self-compassion meditation, taking a break, or talking openly and honestly with a trusted loved one. For example, if you’re experiencing anxiety you might try some somatic exercises for anxiety. If you’re feeling tired, you might consider taking some time to relax.
For some great self-compassion practices, I recommend checking out Dr. Kristen Neff. She is a leader in self-compassion and offers a ton of great books, resources, meditations, and more. That link has quite a few short (5-10 minute) self-compassion breaks you can use any time you notice you are suffering.
Take Small Action
Sometimes when we begin to show up for ourselves, we find that we need to make some sort of change or improve something in our lives. Maybe we want to set better boundaries, cultivate better relationships in our lives, or exercise a bit more. Recognizing these things, our minds can bounce around quite a bit. Sometimes you may find yourself overwhelmed to the point of taking no action.
Something I’ve found helpful both for myself and my clients is to try to take relatively small actions toward our goals. You don’t need to figure it all out to show up for yourself. Reflect to see if there’s an accessible way to do something today, or this week. What feels approachable and doable to you? Is there a small step you can take?
Get Out and Move
However you’re able to do so, moving is a powerful practice in showing up for yourself. There are many ways moving benefits mental health, including helping anxiety and depression, giving more mental clarity, and decreasing symptoms of ADHD. You don’t need to go for a long, hard run to get these benefits. You can use this tip at any step in your journey.
If you’re struggling to make time for yourself, do it with a short walk. Reflect during this period! If you’re looking for a wak to practice self-care or set goals, do it while riding your bike. In addition to the benefits of moving and exercise, you can also reap the rewards of being outside. This is less of a way to show up for yourself, and more of a technique you can use with other practices.
Practice Mindfulness
Finally, you might consider taking up a mindfulness practice. Mindfulness can be beneficial in so many ways, including allowing us the opportunity to see our experiences more clearly, respond with more self-compassion, and truly show up for whatever experience we’re having. With mindfulness, we train the mind and body in the ability to be fully present with ourselves. In a sense, it’s the ultimate showing up for yourself.
