Feeling Guilty After Drinking: Why it Happens

Experiencing guilt after a night of drinking is rather common. If you’ve had this experience, know that you’re not alone. There are many reasons and potential causes for this guilt, as well as things you can do to work with the experience and move forward.

The guilt may come up as shame, self-judgement, self-disappointment, or regret. However it manifests in your experience, the guilt experienced after drinking is often something worth listening to and investigating.

Causes of Guilt After Drinking

There are many possible causes for the guilt you experience after drinking. It may not be just one thing. It is likely it is a combination of many things working together to create the emotions of guilt or shame. Sometimes we feel guilty for a very clear reason. We did something harmful, behaved in a way we are ashamed of, or promised somebody we wouldn’t drink. However, the causes can also be more subtle.

The Hangxiety

Research has suggested in mice that anxiety and depression are both increased in the period after drinking. Similarly, there is research in humans that found individuals prone to hangovers do experience heightened symptoms of anxiety and depression the day after drinking. This is because alcohol stimulates the release of the neurotransmitter GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid). This neurotransmitter increases dopamine and serotonin in the brain. When the effects of the alcohol have worn off, the brain essentially tries to rebalance these chemicals by releasing glutamate, which is known to increase anxiety.

You may find yourself experiencing less hope, more silent panic attacks, a lack of energy, or obsessive thoughts. All of this is to say there is a chemical process happening in the brain and body that we believe leads to more symptoms of anxiety and depression. Regardless of your behavior or any other external circumstances, the brain may be more prone to anxiety and feelings of guilt after drinking.

Depressants

Many people don’t realize that alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. You may feel jovial or energized while drunk from its initial stimulant effects, but it actually slows brain activity. GABA is a deppresant. When you come down from the “high” of alcohol, you are likely to be left feeling slightly depressed. It may not be a clinical-level depression, but you are nonetheless more likely to experience symptoms of depression. This can substantially contribute to feelings of anxiety, guilt, and shame.

Loss of Control

In addition to the neurochemical ways that alcohol may cause feelings of guilt, there are behavioral or environmental reasons as well. Alcohol generally lowers inhibitions. People make decisions while drinking that they may not make while sober. This loss of control may produce feelings of guilt the next day as you feel the effects of your decisions. You also may simply feel guilt for the simple loss of control.

Reckless Behaviors

With this loss of control comes engagement in reckless or risky behaviors. You may do things like drive drunk, engage sexually with people you wouldn’t engage with sober, get into fights, spend money, use other drugs, or gamble. For many, alcohol is the gateway into other risky or harmful behaviors. Waking up the morning after drinking, it is normal to feel guilt after such activities if you are not proud of them.

Worrying Others

You also may worry others with your drinking. This may be because you have promised people to stop, you engage in risky behaviors, or you are not taking care of your physical or mental health. As social creatures, it’s natural that others care about us. When we drink, it may leave others worried or concerned about our wellbeing. This social pressure may give us some guilt after drinking as we feel we’ve let down or disappointed loved ones.

Not Being Able to Stop

This may not be applicable to everyone, but for many there is a feeling that we aren’t able to stop as easily as we want. Our drinking may be impacting our jobs, family life, or other aspects of our lives. In addition, a cycle of guilt is created. You may feel guilty for drinking, and treat the guilt by drinking to not feel it. This creates more guilt, and suddenly you feel trapped in this cycle of guilt.

Not Caring For Yourself

Finally, you may feel that you are not caring for yourself fully with your drinking. Perhaps you have goals of showing up for yourself better, taking care of your physical and mental health, or something like losing weight. When we engage in behaviors that aren’t congruent with our deeper aspirations, we may feel guilt. Just as we worry others or feel that we let them down, we also might feel guilt for letting ourselves down.

Coping with Guilt After Drinking

The first thing I have to say about coping with guilt after drinking is to not drink to mask the guilt! This will likely create more guilt. Guilt is a valid feeling, but it is generally an unpleasant one. The first step in coping with a difficult emotion is to do what you can to not create more of it in your life. Noticing that you feel guilty about drinking is a great step, and opens the door to seeking solutions and growth.

Talk About It

Perhaps one of the most powerful things you can do to work with guilt after drinking is to talk about it with the right person. This may be a spouse or partner, a family member, or a trusted friend. Share how you feel, be open to feedback, and begin the journey of investigating your drinking habits and the emotions around it.

Keep A Journal

Keeping a journal is another way you might investigate the guilt around drinking. You can note how you feel, what you feel guilty about, how it feels in your body, what the thoughts are, etc. You also might start with some prompts like my 50 Questions to Get to Know Yourself More Clearly. Writing your thoughts and feelings down in a journal can help clarify, encourage self-discovery, and make mindfulness a regular part of your day.

Practice Mindfulness

On that note, practice mindfulness. You can practice mindfulness while sober of course, tuning into the experience fully of the emotional experience you’re having. You can also work to practice more mindful drinking. Set goals and limits for yourself during your drinking to keep yourself in check and be present with your drinking. This can help you not over drink, not engage in risky behaviors, and not lose control.

Engage in Stress-Reduction

You can also engage in various stress-reduction activities to help work with the feelings of anxiety and guilt. Stress-reduction can also help you if you are working to cut back on your drinking or quit altogether. Get some exercise, do some yoga, engage in somatic exercises, or get a massage.

Seek Professional Support

Finally, you might reach out for professional support from a therapist. Feeling guilty after drinking is a solid thing to talk about in therapy. Trained therapists and counselors can help you work with this feeling, investigate your drinking, and help you make a lasting change that works for you.